So…?

We’ve been going back and forth. And yes. It’s about the man. But you know I’m thinking about telling him what I feel.

I mean granted he might not feel the same way I guess?? But I just need him to know because he really is throwing some mixed signals to me.

It kind of is a bother because I’m not sure whether he is joking or not. And if he is joke flirting, that is not cool.

Well hopefully I get to see him before we both go back into the school routine. It’ll be best. And then I won’t have to worry at all.

Yep. That is my conclusion. But I will tell him in person, because let’s be real here, being face to face in these matters is crucial.

So it stands.

I truly wonder how this friendship is.

Maybe I’m looking at it differently, MAINLY because I do have these feelings and thoughts towards him.

It is hard to tell. Honestly it really is. He is much older than I, maybe I might seem like a child in his eyes?

I don’t know. Nicknames he has given me make me wonder whether he does this with others.

I can’t say he might feel the same way for me because he truly is a mystery to me. But in some way, he is a comfort to talk to. I enjoy having conversations with him. We have an even flow, but without telling him what I feel, it’s unclear.

I am tempted to tell him, yet I don’t want to ruin what he have just uncovered.

So it still stands. This wonder and this confusion.

Maybe I am just being selfish with his friendship thinking it can lead to anything more.

How insensitive of me.

My first Date.

It’s a bright warm and hot southern cali day, and today was my first lunch date out ever.

It was absolutely marvelous! Even though it was really hot. It was sweet. He has no idea how long I have waited for this. He is an absolute gentlemen.

I adore it. And I really don’t think I have a chance because at the moment we both are not looking for anything too much. But we are a little closer than before you can say.

His voice, his smile, his sweetness. I am absolutely happy with my day.

I sadly did not get any photos of him. But what we shared with each other today is something that I probably won’t forget. I hope he doesn’t either.

Those words still ringing in my ears:

“You said you wanted an adventure, so I’m going to give you one.”

Man of interest?

So, here’s a small rant of “the person”.

*sighs*

Today might just be the day, we don’t text at all. Like at all. 24 hours. No contact.

I know it doesn’t sound like much, but when you really like them, it feels like FOREVER.

For the past 2 weeks, it has been at least one message a day.

Yes I’m also counting the texts that went into the early AM’s.

Oh the woes of infatuation. I am so pathetic.